The Charmm'd Foundation
485 E. Half Day Rd, Ste 200 - Buffalo Grove, IL 60089
Phone: 847-883-9932 - Fax: 847-883-9960 - email: info@charmmdfoundation.org
485 E. Half Day Rd, Ste 200 - Buffalo Grove, IL 60089
Phone: 847-883-9932 - Fax: 847-883-9960 - email: info@charmmdfoundation.org
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| teach, empower AND model |
| Emotionally Strong. Character Rich. |
| Click here for Quick Tips & Tools on Active Listening! |
| for Building Self-Confidence |
What is self-confidence?
Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem.
We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering skills and
achieving those goals that matter in those skill areas. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a
particular area, we’ll succeed; and it’s this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and
persist in the face of setbacks.
This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem, which is a more general sense that we can cope with what’s going on in our
lives, and that we have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a feeling that the people around us approve of us,
which we may or may not be able to control. It also comes from the sense that we are behaving virtuously, that we’re
competent at what we do, and that we can compete successfully when we put our minds to it.
-Courtesy of mindtools.com (http://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html)
Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem.
We gain a sense of self-efficacy when we see ourselves (and others similar to ourselves) mastering skills and
achieving those goals that matter in those skill areas. This is the confidence that, if we learn and work hard in a
particular area, we’ll succeed; and it’s this type of confidence that leads people to accept difficult challenges, and
persist in the face of setbacks.
This overlaps with the idea of self-esteem, which is a more general sense that we can cope with what’s going on in our
lives, and that we have a right to be happy. Partly, this comes from a feeling that the people around us approve of us,
which we may or may not be able to control. It also comes from the sense that we are behaving virtuously, that we’re
competent at what we do, and that we can compete successfully when we put our minds to it.
-Courtesy of mindtools.com (http://www.mindtools.com/selfconf.html)
Learning this skill is a process. We will provide tips and tools in six sequential steps concentrating on a new step every
60 days. Here is the sequence we will follow:
And always keep your eye on the prize, celebrate and enjoy success!
Tip:
Identify at least one partner who can help you reach your goals
This is the first step in building self confidence. If we can find an individual who cares about us and our success, and is
willing to help us succeed, we are on our way!
Tool:
In the next 60 days, identify someone who cares about you and who you feel safe with. Let them know you are working on
building your self-confidence and would like their help. Then, at least twice a month, share with them your successes,
plans and concerns. Let them know that you would like them to:
- listen and empathize
- offer suggestions
- affirm that what you are doing makes sense
- hold you accountable for goals you want to set for yourself
- encourage and/or help you celebrate
Admitting to another person that we aren’t perfect and that we have some fears takes courage.
Hopefully what we gain far outweighs the risk. Go for it!
Tip:
Realize and focus on your strengths!
It is our choice what we focus on. Many of us can easily identify and focus on our weaknesses. While we may recognize
our weaknesses, focusing on them can cause us to spiral downward. Why not identify and call on our strengths to build us
up instead? It is using these strengths that keep us going, trying harder and persevering.
Tool:
-- Learn what your strengths are! Through VIA Institute on Character you can take a FREE SURVEY, which is the world's
most scientifically validated tool for measuring character strengths. It identifies your top five signature strengths - those
you most frequently express.
-- Once you have identified your top strengths, call on these throughout your day to:
- help you problem solve.
- find comfort when you need some self confidence because you are worried others may not approve
- realize what you bring to the table.
-- And ALWAYS – keep your eye on the prize. Celebrate who you are and your successes!
The more we use our strengths, the more often we find success and the more competent we feel!
Tip:
Set small goals you would like to achieve!
There are times we may want to do something and are paralyzed because we don’t “think” we can make it happen. The
secret is to bolster our self-confidence by setting small goals we think we can achieve. As our confidence grows, we begin
to believe more in ourselves, and can naturally and easily raise the bar to tackle higher and more challenging goals.
Tool:
Over the next 60 days begin each day setting a couple of small goals you would like to achieve. At the end of the day,
acknowledge and celebrate what you accomplished. Also take time to note what you didn’t achieve and why. You may
want to add this to your goal list for tomorrow – for now you have more knowledge and a better chance of reaching your
goal.
Tip:
Welcome failure as a learning tool!
Making mistakes is profoundly human. It is what we do after the mistakes have been made that makes the difference. Do
we want to get angry and beat ourselves up – or – do we want to reflect on what went wrong and think of what we would do
differently next time? The choice is ours.
Tool:
In the next 60 days, when you feel you have failed at something, take the time to realize what you have also done well.
This will help you put your thoughts into perspective. (Think about baseball players. If they hit 3 out of 10 balls they are
considered great players. That means they have failed 7 times.) Next, think about what you have learned and if you have
the opportunity to do it again, give it another shot!
60 days. Here is the sequence we will follow:
- Identify at least one individual who can help you reach your goals
- Realize and focus on your strengths
- Set small goals you would like to achieve
- Welcome failure as a learning tool
- Prepare for what you can control
- Identify and begin to work towards your goal(s)
And always keep your eye on the prize, celebrate and enjoy success!
Tip:
Identify at least one partner who can help you reach your goals
This is the first step in building self confidence. If we can find an individual who cares about us and our success, and is
willing to help us succeed, we are on our way!
Tool:
In the next 60 days, identify someone who cares about you and who you feel safe with. Let them know you are working on
building your self-confidence and would like their help. Then, at least twice a month, share with them your successes,
plans and concerns. Let them know that you would like them to:
- listen and empathize
- offer suggestions
- affirm that what you are doing makes sense
- hold you accountable for goals you want to set for yourself
- encourage and/or help you celebrate
Admitting to another person that we aren’t perfect and that we have some fears takes courage.
Hopefully what we gain far outweighs the risk. Go for it!
Tip:
Realize and focus on your strengths!
It is our choice what we focus on. Many of us can easily identify and focus on our weaknesses. While we may recognize
our weaknesses, focusing on them can cause us to spiral downward. Why not identify and call on our strengths to build us
up instead? It is using these strengths that keep us going, trying harder and persevering.
Tool:
-- Learn what your strengths are! Through VIA Institute on Character you can take a FREE SURVEY, which is the world's
most scientifically validated tool for measuring character strengths. It identifies your top five signature strengths - those
you most frequently express.
-- Once you have identified your top strengths, call on these throughout your day to:
- help you problem solve.
- find comfort when you need some self confidence because you are worried others may not approve
- realize what you bring to the table.
-- And ALWAYS – keep your eye on the prize. Celebrate who you are and your successes!
The more we use our strengths, the more often we find success and the more competent we feel!
Tip:
Set small goals you would like to achieve!
There are times we may want to do something and are paralyzed because we don’t “think” we can make it happen. The
secret is to bolster our self-confidence by setting small goals we think we can achieve. As our confidence grows, we begin
to believe more in ourselves, and can naturally and easily raise the bar to tackle higher and more challenging goals.
Tool:
Over the next 60 days begin each day setting a couple of small goals you would like to achieve. At the end of the day,
acknowledge and celebrate what you accomplished. Also take time to note what you didn’t achieve and why. You may
want to add this to your goal list for tomorrow – for now you have more knowledge and a better chance of reaching your
goal.
Tip:
Welcome failure as a learning tool!
Making mistakes is profoundly human. It is what we do after the mistakes have been made that makes the difference. Do
we want to get angry and beat ourselves up – or – do we want to reflect on what went wrong and think of what we would do
differently next time? The choice is ours.
Tool:
In the next 60 days, when you feel you have failed at something, take the time to realize what you have also done well.
This will help you put your thoughts into perspective. (Think about baseball players. If they hit 3 out of 10 balls they are
considered great players. That means they have failed 7 times.) Next, think about what you have learned and if you have
the opportunity to do it again, give it another shot!
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